322 - Lessons Learned on Planning illuminate Retreat

Aug 27

322 - Lessons Learned on Planning illuminate Retreat

In today's episode, we're diving into a fabulous recap of the illuminate Retreat. Pam takes us through her initial hesitation to host the retreat and how it turned out to be an incredible experience of self-discovery and growth. Get ready to hear about the power of integrating new experiences, the importance of building spaciousness in our schedules, and the impact of having solid sessions for personal development. So grab your coffee, sit back, and let's illuminate the path to personal transformation!

During this episode we talked about:

A behind the scenes for illuminate Retreat
The brands that supported us
The guides that helped us
5 lessons learned planning the retreat
A bonus lesson
A little bit of what’s ending and what’s coming next

Pam:

Hello, everyone. This is Pam de Cafe con Pam, the bilingual podcast that features Latine and people of the global majority who break barriers, change lives, and make this world a better place. Welcome to Episode 322 of Cafe con Pam. Today, it's another one of those that is just you and me. I am here to share a recap of Illuminate retreat and also give you some lessons learned. Because with every adventure that we take on, I think, comes a lot of lessons. And so let's relive it.

Pam:

Let's relive the incredible moments of this transformative journey. And let's also talk about the lessons. So picture this. It's a gathering of ambitious, soul ready humans who have been talking on Zoom for two years at least. And so meeting each other, oh, my gosh, was amazing. For the first 24 hours, if not more, we were still, like, poking each other and we were saying to each other, oh, my gosh, you're real. And so that was really amazing. From start to finish, the retreat was a powerful experience.

Pam:

And I'm saying this not because I created it, but also because I kept hearing from people throughout the retreat and after to this day, how they are still reminiscing and they're still thinking about the beautiful moments that we created together and how they have left feeling with so much more confidence and power within themselves. Because that was the goal. So I hope you've already grabbed your cafecito or your favorite beverage, sit back and let's get through everything that happened. So, to start, I wasn't the only one that hosted sessions. I engaged people from Power Sisters. And, I mean, it was all Power Sisters, actually. And so I wanted to make sure that my retreat was also a place of co creation, where I don't ever want to be the only one that is the facilitator, but I also want to provide the space for others to do so. And so the sessions were amazing.

Pam:

Before though we get into the sessions, I do want to give a huge thanks to the different small businesses who chose to support us. And I want to clarify that these were small businesses. I reached out to big brands and they were like, oh, we're out of budget. We don't have any budget to support you. Frankly, that felt a little defeating. I felt defeated afterwards, but I reached out to friends and I was like, well, let's see what we can do together. I want to make sure that everyone wins. I always am very cautious about asking people for free stuff because I'm aware that as a small business, your margins are slim.

Pam:

And so it's not about asking, it's about engaging in a conversation. And so I want to give a big, big shout out to my friend Michelle, who's the owner of Luxury and Legacy, because with her, I wasn't even asking. I was simply telling her what was happening and how I was feeling disappointed in some of the big brands that I thought would be wanting to support. And she said, well, they may not be wanting to support, but I do. And without any questioning, literally, she was like, Just send me the bill and I'll do it. Whatever you need, just let's make it happen for you. I don't want you to not make this retreat happen because you're feeling disappointed that people are not supporting you. And so thank you, Michelle, so much.

Pam:

You're amazing. And I think everyone needs Michelle. Not because someone who says yes and supports you, but because she believes in what I do. Literally, when we were having these conversations, she was like, no, you're going to make it happen. It doesn't matter what other people are saying. It doesn't matter what your mean voice is saying to you. This retreat is something that you want to do, and let's do it. And so I want to make sure that she gets the recognition that she deserves.

Pam:

Also, I want to give a shout out to Greenish Vibes. Greenish Vibes is a woman owned, black owned company who focuses on CBD products, and they're awesome. Danica's amazing, and when I told her about my retreat, I wanted her to facilitate a tea type of experience, because for me, as someone who is a highly anxious person, I've been using CBD as a tool, I guess, or as a support to help with my anxiety. And it's been tremendous. It's been awesome. So I pair CBD with Tapping, and that is one of the things that has helped so much. I don't lean so much on the THC because as someone who's anxious, THC doesn't always want to vibe with me, but CBD does. Amazing.

Pam:

And so when I met her, I was like, I want to be able to provide an experience, like something I've felt before to attendees, and for one reason or another, it couldn't happen. I was like, look, we'll make it something else happen at another time. We'll figure out a way to collaborate. Don't worry about it. And she was like, no, I still want to contribute. I still want to give something to your attendees. And she provided some beautiful bath bombs that are CBD infused, and we didn't get to use them. So I'm curious.

Pam:

Power Sisters, those who attended, I'm curious to know if you use them, let us know. Speaking of using fun things, I also want to give a shout out to Crumb Cheese. Crumb Cheese is also a woman owned, Latina owned, local to San Diego company who created this delicious amaranth snack. It's basically if, you know, like an oblea or if you grew up Catholic, the wafers that they give you, it's similar in that consistency, but it's made out of amaranth. And amaranto or amaranth. It's a superfood. I mean, I don't even know what that means, but it's considered now a superfood. It's a trendy thing that people are consuming. And so Crumb Cheese is made with amaranth, and it has protein, it has fiber.

Pam:

It's great. I love it. It does have wheat. I got really obsessed with Crumb Cheese because when I left, we had a couple of packets left over, and I was like, great, because I'm traveling. And so I put them in my bag, and on the plane, I ate a packet. I went to a conference, and I had the other packet, and I didn't have time for breakfast, and so I pulled out the packet. It's easy, it's delicious, it's nutritious. And I'm a fan.

Pam:

I'm a fan. Crumbcheese.com. Agua Bonita is another one that chose to believe in us. I love their waters. So here's the thing about Agua Bonita. If you've never had Agua Bonita, definitely check them out. It's also Latina owned, woman owned business. It's agua de sabor como tipo agua fresca without the fuzzy, so it's not sparkling, which is cool because it has this very nostalgic, like, oh, agua dresca, you know.

Pam:

And I, without knowing, haven't tried it before. I tried the watermelon con chile, sandia con chile, watermelon con chile flavor, and I was not prepared. Of course, I couldn't get enough after, but it was the initial shock of like, oh know, si tiene chile, it's a little spicy, but of course, I became a fan. Absolutely. With Agua Bonita. Carina, Carina Fleckner Photography, our fabulous photographer who came to Illuminate, oh, my gosh, she is incredible. Captured every moment. I am looking through the pictures, and I can't get enough of them.

Pam:

I've seen the album, like, 15 times because she was truly able to capture the essence of this retreat. And the images are now frozen in time so we can remember these beautiful moments. And so, I don't know, I might do a recap with them. It's really cool. Shout out to Carina, who's awesome. Also, my mom. My mom made us breakfast on Saturday because I wanted to share a little bit of my mom to everyone, but I didn't know how and why not with food. So she gave us, or she made us these, my favorite waffles.

Pam:

They are gluten free, oatmeal cinnamon apple waffles. And you don't even need syrup with them for them because they're already delicious as is. If you're a textured person, it might throw you off because they do have come with little tiny chunks of apple, which just to me, it adds to the fun texture of the waffle. And they were great. She made us huevos waffles and fruit cups. So thank you. Thank you.

Pam:

Tres fuegos Cocina. Shout out to Diana, chef Diana, who cooked for us on a Friday breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And our bellies were so full. They really were. We had leftover food because we were like, look, while this is delicious, it's hearty. It's hearty, and it's awesome. And so, Tres Fuegos Cosina, if you need any catering needs, definitely reach out to her, woman owned, Latina owned, San Diego based business. I want to give a shout out also to our guides, to Cindy, to Mary, to Liz, and to Jeníca, who supported some of the sessions of the retreat.

Pam:

They infused their magic. They brought on all of themselves, their truth, their power, and gave us a taste of who they are and their medicine. So we did yoga with Liz. Really cool if you know a little bit about me. I'm a dancer, and so yoga always tends to be a little bit slower for me. And so I either do restorative yoga, which is super, super slow, or, like, the super fast one, but yoga hasn't fully resonated with me for a long time. But I took Liz's class, and I'm like, you know what? I could get behind us. So I really think it depends on the teacher.

Pam:

Shout out to Liz. Well done. Mary brought her magic through food, and she gave us her comadre exchange experience in la cocina. And we were able to explore our taste buds and learn more about nutrition and understand the importance of every single piece that we put on our plates and the reason why it's important to have a balanced plate when it comes to how we build our food. Shout out to Mary. It was awesome to hear your story and also witnessing you walking us through something that you and I have been talking about behind the scenes as you have been planning this business of yours. It's amazing to be able to witness this. Cindy was one of the first Power Sisters in the program.

Pam:

Back in 2019, I said, Well, I'm going to do this thing. I'm going to launch this coaching program that is rooted in accountability. And I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't know what I'm doing. But I started this program. It was, I believe I don't remember, but I think it was a six week, maybe eight week program, and we ended with a retreat, and Cindy was part of that group, the first initial group. And so I have witnessed her growth. I have seen her expand.

Pam:

I have seen her fly. It's been so amazing. And so when it came time to planning for the closing ceremony for Illuminate, I immediately thought of Cindy, because I thought, you know what? She came to open this container. She's a perfect person to close it, and she did. And she held space for me to also close this chapter and release it. And she witnessed me and my journey, along with all the Power Sisters that were present. That was such a beautiful moment that that ceremony that Cindy facilitated will stay with me for a long time because it truly held a lot of power, and it grounded us in our truth and our next steps for what we're going to do. So it's really powerful.

Pam:

Big shout out to Cindy Canek. And Jeníca, my right hand. She's the ying to my yang. I have no words to thank the support that I've received from my friend Jeníca. Not only is she a friend, but she's a cousin. She's my right hand. She's someone whom I can trust for anything and everything. And she came through with all the things because truly, she was there making sure that everyone was supported, making sure that there were dishes that were clean, making sure that the kitchen was clean, making sure that everything was set up for the following day while I was exhausted from holding space.

Pam:

And so I couldn't have done it without Jeníca. And that's for our facilitators. And so every single one of our sessions, like I just shared, they were sprinkled with everyone's magic. Every Power Sister that came in to this space, we had two people that were not part of the program, which was an interesting place of navigation. And I think the integration that happened with everyone in the group was really magical. So I do want to take the time to thank every Power Sister, every Power Sister that's come through the program, every Power Sister that lasted a month, every Power Sister that lasted maybe three months, or every Power Sister that got three switches of Power Sisters. And they were like, you know what? This is too much. I can't deal with this change.

Pam:

I want to thank you because you supported and me, and you helped me make this program better. And whether you are still in the program or you have left, you are still part of the group and something that was really, really cool and lasted three years. And so thank you to every single one of you who trusted me with this weird program that had never been done before. Nobody was doing accountability. I searched, so it was the first program that was rooted completely in accountability and that would pair you up with a Power Sister. Nobody was doing it. And so now there's many of them, which is amazing, because I think people have understood the power of accountability. And you don't need to join a program to find someone to hold you accountable.

Pam:

You can simply find someone whom you aligned with and simply find someone whom you share goals or intentions or even directions. You might be traveling into the same direction, and you can simply ask them, hey, do you want to hold each other accountable? Let's set up a time. Let's schedule a meeting so we can hold each other accountable for this. Because studies show when you have a standing appointment with someone, your chances of completing your goals go from 60% to 96%. When you have a standing appointment with someone who knows what you're committed to, think about it. Power Sisters is closed, but you can always start your own Power Sister journey on your own. And I do have a workshop, if you're interested, on the framework that I've created to find your Power Sister and to also host your own Power Sister meetings, but that's for another time. Send me a message.

Pam:

I'll send it to you. It's super fun, and it's the framework that all the Power Sisters have used throughout the history of the program. I also want to give a shout out and recognize Casa Sur San Diego, which is the haven that held us, is the home that hosted us, and it is a perfect place for a retreat like this one. We had 13 people in total. And what I love about Casa Sur is that there's plenty of space for people to hang out. And so not everyone was kind of, like, stuck in one place. If people needed to go to their room, they could. If people wanted to go outside and enjoy the sun, even outside, there's a lot of space for people to expand themselves and be on their own or hang out with other people.

Pam:

It's a beautiful place. Definitely the foundation of being a space that held us with a lot of support. And because of that, we were able to, I believe, really embarking this journey of growth, and it was an unforgettable experience. Seriously. Okay, so while the retreat marks a culmination of Power Sisters, I'm not done. I still have a lot more to do, and Power Sisters already know that we're not done working together. I'm working on the next thing right now. It's not over.

Pam:

I want you to know that Cafe con Pam is not ending. It's actually on the other end. We are moving forward. We are growing Cafe con Pam. We are being much more intentional with everything that we do. I am listening more to my higher self, who is pulling me into continuing to create everything under the umbrella of Cafe con Pam. And I really hope that you come in the journey with us, that you join us even. Just know you don't have to join at any additional capacity other than just being here.

Pam:

However, if you crave change, if you desire personal development, if you have a small business and you want to continue to inspire others through your journey with your journey, then I hope that you're curious about the next step. And perhaps you can use what I'm going to share the five lessons to listen to that idea, to listen to that project that you might be thinking about, to maybe explore a little bit more whatever it is that you're being pulled to that you're like, oof, but that would never happen. That your mean voice is kind of like whispering at you things that are not true. Because, look, I created a program that had never been done before. And while I'm choosing to close it three days later three days, three years later, that allowed me to learn a lot, to open the next one, and to do it much better. So let me share the five lessons I learned from planning the first retreat post Pandemic, because I had done a retreat in 2019, and then Pandemic happened and we couldn't do it until now. So we have five lessons to go over, and I'm going to give you a bonus one at the end. So number one, the lesson is to have everything in writing because trusting the integrity of people, it can get us into trouble.

Pam:

Sometimes people forget, sometimes people assume. And so, as my lawyer would say, everything in writing. So definitely have everything in writing to avoid any kind of misunderstandings, any kind of assumptions, any kind of like, oh, well, I thought it was this well, papelito habla. And so having it in writing, everything in writing, super important. Number two, set an intention for your event and release it, because it's beautiful to arrive with a very clear objective of what you want everyone to come out of with. And at the same time, I invite you to be open for every participant to receive the own lesson that they need through your work. Because I may have thought that I was going to support people in something, perhaps closing something and starting something new. And while it's happened, I've been in conversations with people that I'm like, oh, this is really interesting because that cycle of ending either started before the retreat or the retreat kind of like catalyzed it, but it didn't come in a way that was perhaps expected.

Pam:

So it's fascinating. So I invite you to set an intention and then release it and allow everyone to receive the lesson on their own. Number three, food. Snacks are good, but lots of food, not so much, because you also don't want people to be tired because they've been eating so much. A couple of people told me, when it comes to food, you don't play. And that is very true because I always want to make sure people are fed. I always want to make sure people are nourished and they're grounded. And when you're hungry, it doesn't feel good, and so I tend to overfeed.

Pam:

However, this time what I learned is I've planned a few events in my lifetime, and this time what I learned is that we left with a lot of fresh food. That pained me a little bit because fresh like fruits and vegetables, it goes bad faster. So it's not something that you can store in your pantry if it's leftovers, but it's actually like cooked food. So maybe something that I learned and I would do next time is still feed people enough plenty and perhaps portion things a little bit smaller just because I don't want to have so much leftover. Number four, you want to build spaciousness. You want to build spaciousness in your schedule. Something that I thought about in the beginning when I started planning the curriculum, I wanted to make sure that people had enough time to integrate and to go and recharge if they needed. And it was really beautiful because we had time for people to go take a nap.

Pam:

We had space for people to go journal outside. We had space for people to take showers if they needed to, just kind of, like, release through the power of water. And that's something that I thank my past self for saying, you know what? Build in 45 minutes here. Build in another 45 minutes over here in the schedule. And that gave us a lot of flexibility. And I think, in a way, it supported attendees because they were able to then not feel like it was a back to back to back to back event. Sometimes I've attended events that are back to back to back, and it feels really abrasive. My nervous system cannot take so much so much change so fast, transitioning from one activity to the next.

Pam:

And so that's something that it's not necessarily a lesson, but more so like a thinking for my past self that I want to share with you to build spaciousness. Sometimes we feel like we want to pack the schedule so much, but really, if you have solid sessions, then people do need that space for the integration time. Number five, you want to plan for the unexpected, but also you don't want to stress on it. In our case, the retreat, I held it from Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It ended middle of the day Saturday on purpose because I wanted people to have the rest of Saturday to travel, to get back home, and the full Sunday to integrate, because I want to make sure that you also have this integration time. I'm trying to look for another word other than integration, but you want to have this time to allow for you to ground yourself and get back into your own reality. It's also because I'm highly aware of our nervous system and how we can be highly activated through several things in the world. I want to make sure that you have that space to get back into your own world.

Pam:

And so on one end, that was great. On the other end, it was also great because Hurricane Hillary turned into Tropical Storm Hillary, ended up arriving to San Diego on Sunday. In my head, I was like, you know what? That's actually okay, because everyone will be gone by then, so we don't have to deal with that stress. However, because we had several people actually coming from out of town, like the other side of the country, they had to catch flights, and some people were getting a little stressed about their flights being canceled or making sure that their flight actually made it out of San Diego. And thankfully, everyone got home safe and sound. But that's something that I couldn't necessarily stress so much about it, because I cannot control it. I mean, this is literally a natural thing. And so you want to plan for the unexpected, and at the same time, we cannot stress too much about it.

Pam:

For me, my plan for the unexpected was giving people that extra day for integration or for whatever they needed to do. And it turned out to be really useful and helpful. And the bonus lesson or suggestion that I have is to always have your right hand. In my case, I brought Coach Jeníca to help and support me throughout this journey, and I have done my past retreat. I also had someone be my right hand. It was really useful because, as the facilitator, as the host, I need to be in this space of groundedness and openness to hold space for other people. And so the right hand, whoever that is, they are in a much more practical space where they're more logistical in Illuminate Jeníca was making sure that we were on time.

Pam:

She was making sure that the kitchen was clean. She was making sure that everyone had forks. At some point, we couldn't find any forks, and so she found the forks and all of those really kind of, like, tiny but important details if I'm holding space for people. I mean, there were a few times where I went to a different room to tap with people. There were different times that I was having one on ones with others. And so having a right hand is super key when you are hosting an event. So that's the bonus that I want to share with you. And that's my recap for Illuminate.

Pam:

So I want you to let this recap, this summary of Illuminate, be the spark that sets off to perhaps a reaction within yourself, perhaps a spark of curiosity of what is it that you want to create that at some point, you may not believe or you may still not believe that you wanted to make happen? Because I didn't want this retreat to happen, but everyone kept asking for it, and here we are after the fact, and it's been awesome. And now, in hindsight, I would do it again, because it was amazing. I want to remind you that you have the answers within you. Every single answer that you're looking for, you have the answer within you. You don't need anyone. You don't need anyone to give you the answer. The answer is within you. Sometimes you just need someone to see you.

Pam:

And for me, I thank you for being here. I cannot wait to see you. I cannot wait to see your light, whether it's inside of one of my containers, whatever the next one is, or through a DM that you may send me. I really, truly love when you send me DMs, and you're like, oh, my gosh, I listened to this episode, and it was so inspiring that this person did XYZ, and now I'm going to do it myself. It makes my heart sink so much. Anytime you do that, not only through DMs, but also when you join my programs, it's awesome. And I truly, truly, truly love to know what you're up to. Please do message me and tell me what you've been thinking about, what you want to launch, how can I support you? I'm so in for this because I believe we all have a voice and we can all make a difference.

Pam:

And I do believe and there is room for everyone. Like I share on the Cafe website, the table has been set for us, and now it's just time for us to pull up a chair and sit down. So if you feel called or curious about what is the next thing, then I invite you to head over to cafeconopam.com and drop your information, name and email. And then you'll be the first one to receive the news when the Manis Club annual pass drops. Hint, hint. I would love for you to join us. I recently shared on Instagram a little bit about what it's going to be about. I'm currently working on it being much more intentional.

Pam:

Like I shared, I'm working on financial projections. I'm being much more grounded and a little bit more practical based on the lessons that I've learned from building several businesses that I've closed. And so can't wait to have you. I can't wait to continue to be here. And even if you never join anything and if you just listen to the podcast, hey, that's enough for me. Thank you so, so much for being here. That's my recap for illuminate. Thank you for being here.

Pam:

I thought this was going to be a 15 minutes episode, but hey, sometimes we just go a little bit longer. Thank you so, so much. I invite you to subscribe to follow Cafe con Pam podcast on Apple podcast on Spotify. Apparently, those are the top two places where you listen to me. And you can also download the Latina Podcasters Network app if you want to check out other awesome podcasters that are in that network. If you feel called, I do appreciate stars. Whichever platform you listen to, drop a star or drop five stars. Five stars appreciated.

Pam:

And if you feel called to leave a review, that helps a ton. It also, I mean, frankly, for me as a human, it helps me to see that you are listening, that you are here, not just me talking to an empty microphone. Let's stay connected @cafeconpampodcast on Instagram and Facebook. I love having conversations on Instagram with you. I'm on Threads. Threads. App @cafeconpampodcast.

Pam:

I've been sharing a lot of my thoughts. I transitioned actually from the previous Little Bird app that's no longer a bird, into the Threads app. And I'm enjoying it and I'm glad they launched the web version of it. So catch me on there @cafeconpampodcast on all the places and spaces you can check out. Please do head over to cafeconpam.com. It's our new website. We are launching so many new things. I cannot wait to share all the details.

Pam:

We are finalizing everything. And it's scaresighted. It's scaresighted because it's things that I'm like. Oh. My gosh, did I ever think I was going to do this now? I never did. Did I ever maybe dreamt that at some point in my life I would do this? Yes, many times. But seeing it come into something real is pretty amazing. So come check it out.

Pam:

I do have a broadcast channel on Instagram if you're interested on. Kind of like seeing the behind the scenes of how I'm planning this. I'm sharing a lot in that broadcast channel and I'm going to start sharing more because I do want to hear your thoughts and opinions. I want us to co create this next phase together because you've been here this whole time, so why not bring you along? Even the behind the scenes. I'm a fan of being fully transparent with every business practice and I am planning on sharing a lot of the numbers and how I'm making decisions. If you are interested and curious, send me a message or join that broadcast channel on Instagram. Also we have a discord server and you can join us there. We can continue to have the conversations.

Pam:

I also share a lot there. That's where I host the gathering, the online gathering that we do and it's super fun. Stayshining club. Join us there. Check out the show notes. Basically that's where we'll have every single link of all the things that I've mentioned, of the brands that supported, of the people that came and facilitated, of all the places and spaces. You can join us in the show notes. Check them out.

Pam:

Y bueno, ahora si listeners. I'm so grateful for you. I'm so, so grateful for you for all this time, for being here. Thank you so, so much. Y bueno, nuca se te olvide, to stay shining.