308 - Learning to Love Yourself with Reema Zaman

Listeners, we are back this week with Reema Zaman

Reema Zaman is an award-winning author, speaker, and coach. Her books include the critically acclaimed memoir I Am Yours and the forthcoming novels Paramita: A Dystopian Matriarchy and Woman in Flight. I Am Yours was adopted into the curriculum of several high schools through a Collaboration Grant by the Oregon Board of Education. Reema has been featured and published in The New York Times, Vogue, Salon, The Guardian, and many other outlets. You may recognize her from her TedxTalk "The power of your no and the authority of your yes" or her viral interview with Cheryl Strayed on the Dear Sugars podcast. She was Oregon Literary Arts Writer of Color Fellow in 2018 and is a consultant and coach for other writers and speakers looking to write their books or elevate their careers to the next level. Born in Bangladesh and raised in Hawaii and Thailand, she lives in Portland, Oregon with her rescue chihuahua, Fia the Fierce.

During our conversation we talked about:

02:04 - Her heritage
03:24 - Coming to the US and the culture shock of landing in a predominantly white college
05:50 - Her parents relationship when she grew up
07:47 - “I think I blossomed into my feminist voice because I needed to say something”
08:42 - Cultural expectations for women
11:20 - “Feminism at home is harder than out in the world”
12:48 - Self-sabotage and self-harm as a response to disempowering situations.
TW: Anorexia is discussed
14:25 - Continuing the cycle with toxic and abusive relationships
16:50 - Gaslighting
18:10 - “We can never outrun our past”
18:28 - Self esteem and self-love
19:46 - “I have a life beyond what I thought”
21:12 - Deciding to end the relationship
25:29 - “We leave when the pain of staying is greater than the fear of the unknown”
28:04 - Safety vs. Possessiveness
33:06 - Detoxing harmful habits
36:04 - “The woman I can become if I allow myself to leave”
42:13 - Her next projects