“The Dads” Review: A Journey of Love, Reflection, and Resilience
In the documentary "The Dads," released on Netflix in 2023, we join six fathers on a transformative weekend retreat in rural Oklahoma. Amidst breathtaking landscapes, these fathers share their experiences as parents of transgender teens. Through intimate conversations and moments of vulnerability, the film delves into the complexities of parenthood, identity, and societal challenges.
"We cannot survive in isolation from one another", reflects Stephen Chukumba during one dinner, encapsulating the spirit of this documentary.
"The Dads" invites us to be part of a weekend in rural Oklahoma, where six fathers come together to enjoy nature while reflecting on their role and the particularities that each one has faced when exercising it: five of them are parents of trans teens -including Café con Pam's friend Frank Gonzales, who has accompanied us in the episodes 197 and 313-, the sixth is Denis Shepard, father of Matthew Shepard, who has not made this kind of trip to Oklahoma since the hate crime that cost his son's life in 1998.
With beautiful shots that accompany the tranquility of the landscape in which these parents are, the construction of the film works as a silent companion to the psychomagical act that means for these six men to share this space, being vulnerable to others, find each other in their similarities as well as in their differences, with the certainty that they all have the same priority: to do the best for their children.
The film provides a glimpse into the struggles faced by parents of transgender individuals who not only have to deal with the usual challenges of parenting but also the fear that their own country may not be a safe place for their children.
The closeness and intimacy of the film, allow us to be part of the very vulnerable moments of these men who share with their fellow travelers some of the painful experiences of their journeys in parenthood: "Finding you all saved my life"ends up saying Stephen at that shared dinner, and that’s how it feels in the movie.
The discussions and introspections of these men, in a span of eleven minutes, prompt us to contemplate on significant and intricate topics such as racism, the immigrant experience, the American dream, privileges that often go unnoticed, and, of course, the role of adults in queer and trans childhoods.
The end might take us by surprise and leave us with the feeling that many of these talks were unfinished, but perhaps that is the best way for us to continue talking about it in our daily lives.
