Forging Your Own Path: Rebuilding Self-Love and Confidence with Gilza Fort-Martinez
With over 25 years of experience as a latina therapist, Gilza shares insights into her daily life, her cultural influences, and the rewarding aspects of her work. From navigating the complexities of betrayal to combating imposter syndrome, Gilza offers valuable wisdom gleaned from her rich personal and professional journey.
What's a typical day in your life look like?: I start at 6:15 am with some reading or writing and of course, coffee! Most weekdays I come into my therapy office by 8 am and start seeing clients. I tend to work with 5-7 clients a day. I work with individuals and couples helping them navigate the various twists & turns of life, creating new & more effective paths. My expertise is helping women through the grief of Betrayal so many of my clients are on the healing journey. I head home around 5:30-6 pm. Usually with silence in my car as I use my commute as my decompression time. Simple dinner preparations usually for my husband & myself...sometimes my youngest daughter who still lives with us, joins us. Then some quiet TV time and stretching before bed. Weekends are for relaxing, either in my garden, by the beach, or walking our local parks with my husband. Girlfriends play a large part of my life through weekly yoga workouts and monthly book club gatherings.
What is the most rewarding part of your work?: As a long time marriage & family therapist, sitting with people in their loss & pain is a big part of my work. The most satisfying moment for me is when they can see & feel the "light at the end of the tunnel"; the way out of pain. They can lean into the fear of starting over and use their newly gained wisdom (lessons learned)!
How would you say your upbringing and cultural background contributed to your career aspirations?: My parents were Cuban political refugees. They came to the US in 1962 and started over, literally. They believed in education, hard work, honesty & connections. These values infused in me the desire to help others navigate the various transitions that life can throw at us. Learning to maneuver through 2 cultures and 2 languages gave me a sensitivity for diversity and a willingness for inclusion.
What would you say is a common question or concern you get from your clients/followers?: With betrayal, we often blame ourselves: what did I do wrong? How am I so unwanted?
What would you say has been your biggest obstacle in launching a successful career? How have you overcome it?: In the early stages, it was a lack of knowledge, especially business skills. We are taught all the psychological theories on how to help people, but not the skills to create & maintain a successful therapy practice. The internal critic (IC) was a constant companion during these early years: can I do this? who would want to work with me? when I got divorced.. how can I help people now?? Being willing to be a Student and open to learning from others has been key to overcoming my fears. Networking allowed me opportunities to learn from others and redirect myself when I felt lost. It is a continued process even as I have created & grown a successful private practice for over 25 years. Also expecting the evolution of my business, the changes that were needed, have been very important to my success.
What is the phrase, sentence, or conversation that stopped you in your tracks and changed your outlook in life?: My father said "you do not have to have all the answers, you have to have the willingness to look for your answers & resources". It encouraged me to lean into the uncertainty of life, whether personal or professional and go for it! Live and Learn.
What are you committed to doing no matter what happens?: Being a present & available mother. My daughters are grown now, but they both know that I am willing to listen, advise, help and guide whenever I am asked! Sometimes, even when they're not asking! :)
Where might you be found on a Saturday afternoon with no plans?: Poolside or Beachside, with a novel in my hands and a cool drink on my side table :)
If you were to meet 10 year old you, what would you say to them?: Breathe & Believe! You will be heard & understood & encouraged. It's all good, even when it doesn't feel like it.
What is stopping you?: At the moment, not much. I am enjoying the fruits of my labor both personally & professionally.
Hustle culture and burnout is so prominent in our community. How do you prioritize self care?: Because of the emotional work that I have done for over 25 years, having a distinctive line between work & play has been crucial for me. I love reading, walking, biking, yoga, and I have a strong network of women friends who have supported & cheered me on. I have been (re)married for 30 years and have 2 daughters who are also part of that self-care group. Spending time with them has always re-energized me (even through their challenging teen years!) My husband & I, though very different personalities, share values that ground us.
Same goes for imposter syndrome. How do you combat those feelings?: This is a continuing work in progress. A lot of redirecting my Internal Critic, intentional play time, and surrounding myself with like-minded women in business who encourage my instincts and remind me of my essence.
How do you stay connected to your culture, heritage, and community?: This was a big one for my parents ..and a legacy that I have embraced for myself and as a tribute to them. It has been important to maintain & share my language (Spanish), foods, music and history by teaching all to my daughters & non-Hispanic friends & colleagues. Living in Miami has allowed me to indulge in festivals & events that keep us connected to my Latino roots.
What accomplishment are you most proud of, both in your personal and professional life?: Most proud of raising 2 beautiful women who are assertive, motivated, kind and energetic. They inspire me to keep sharing my talents & instincts professionally as they recognize the power of love in learning.
Drink 🫖
What is Gilza’s go-to drink?
Coffee or Tea. A Cortadito, which is a smaller version of a Cafe con Leche, is the Spanish version of the cafe au lait. I love this small version as a quick energy boost as well as a reminder of my Cuban roots. Darker (more coffee than milk) with just a dash of sugar!
Listening To 🎧
What is Gilza listening to at the moment?
I love most kinds of music, though dance music is my favorite! Old freestyle or disco is energetic & fun. Reading is definitely one of my favorite pastimes .. love fiction, biographies, and self-help. Old school gal here .. love the feel of the book in my hands!
Your Truth 🗣️
What is a Gilza’s truth?
Betrayal is a devastating loss. It impacts all parts of our Self. Having experienced that pain, I help women through the grief & loss of betrayal and help them pivot towards reconnection & resetting with themselves. I am inspired by many of the strong women in my life, beginning with my mom and including many teachers & mentors who encouraged me to be Me. As a child of political refugees, picking yourself up & dusting off the hardships was a way of life for my parents. The values they shared continue to influence how I live my life, both personally & professionally.
Your Plug 🔌
What is Gilza plugging today?
In my over 25 years of private practice, I have developed a framework for emotional restoration that I call the "4 R's". I use these parameters to help women reset after betrayal. Recently I have launched in-person & virtual events to create a safe space for women to navigate the losses of betrayal. I call it "Reclaiming your Happy Hour" the return to what brings you Joy. They are 90 minute gatherings where women can share their experiences with betrayal, or simply sit in companionable silence with other women who understand and support. An immersive workshop version called "From Pieces to Peace: Emerging from Betrayal" will launch this year. I am also collaborating on a podcast for Relationship Restoration that should launch this summer.
More about Gilza Fort-Martinez
Gilza Fort-Martinez, MS, LFMT is a Latina therapist, speaker, and writer that specializes in helping women rebuild self-love and confidence after betrayal. For 30 years, Gilza has helped hundreds of individuals navigate life transitions and create paths of resolution that have turned their lives around.
A fierce advocate for women forging their own paths and living as their authentic selves, Gilza seeks for her clients to renew a loving and healthy relationship with themselves by meeting them where they are emotionally and building a roadmap to wellness, together, from there.
She is the founder and CEO of Resolution Counseling Center, a private practice in Miami, Florida. Her passion for helping individuals improve their lives drives her to continuously find ways to reach the community, which is why when she’s not working directly with individuals and couples, she can be found leading workshops or speaking at corporations and organizations.
Gilza is a therapist trained in marriage and family therapy with a degree in Psychology from Barry University and a Master’s Degree from the University of Miami. She is certified in hypnotherapy, family therapy, and meditation.